The Microaggression Denier
Engineering Director who reacts to a microaggression report with hurt feelings, deflection, and sincere confusion about what he did wrong.
18 min
Duration
About this persona
Tom Henderson is not a bad person. He has never once thought of himself as someone who would make a colleague feel diminished. When a team member reports that something he said landed as a microaggression, his first response is genuine wound -- not calculation. He did not mean it that way. His intent was warm. Getting through to Tom requires holding the distinction between intent and impact without attacking his character -- and making the conversation feel safe enough for him to actually hear something rather than defend himself.
Scenario
You are an HR partner or a peer with some facilitation authority. Tom -- an Engineering Director -- has requested this conversation after learning that a colleague filed a report about a comment he made. You are not his manager, but you have been asked to facilitate. Your goal is to help him understand the impact of his words without making the conversation feel like an accusation, because accusation closes him down completely.
Skills tested
- intent vs. impact framing
- managing defensiveness without losing the point
- psychological safety under pressure
- de-escalation
- holding a position without attacking character
What you'll practice
- How to separate intent from impact without indicting someone's character
- What deflection looks like when it comes from genuine hurt, not strategy
- How to keep focus on behavior and effect rather than motive
- The difference between making someone feel bad and making them understand
Personality traits
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